Should I confront the woman who is seeing my husband?

My husband has been dealing with depression for the last couple of months and went on antidepressents about a month and half ago.





A month ago he called me to say that he is no longer in love with me and that he wanted to end our relationship. This was a completed shock to me. He has been staying with his parents or so he said.





I went through the phone bills and tracked a number that he frequently calls. I found out that it is a woman that he works with. I told my husband about this and he said that she is strictly a friend and that is it. And that they have only being hanging out for the last two weeks (after he called and said he wanted to end our relationship). He said that she has an attraction to him and he is attracted to her. I am very upset with all of this and want my husband to come home so that we can try to work things out.





Should I call or email this woman to let her know to stay away from my husband? How should I handle this? What would be the best way to tell her without being a b*tch?





Thanks!Should I confront the woman who is seeing my husband?
There is no point contacting that woman. She'll definitely defend herself and say hurtful things to add to your pain. These women are whores and they don't care for other people's feelings. I did and it hurt me even more. And the woman was right, it was my husband's fault. I should be able to control my husband. So, ignore her.Should I confront the woman who is seeing my husband?
You can't make anybody love you and make them be with you if they don't want to. You sound like a child throwing a temper tantrum because a toy has been taken away. People are not toys, they have feelings and if he wants to be with the other woman, there is nothing you can do about it. I know it hurts, but talking to the other woman will only deepen the wounds. Just get out of the scene and move on with your life.
.She doesn't owe you any loyalty. You two are separated. You need to talk to him about reconciling, not try to run off his female friend. IF he has any interest in staying married to you, then no other woman will be an issue. Otherwise, it won't matter if some other chick is in the picture or not.





Work on him...if he's willing to work things out, then the situation with her should fade on its own.
Your husband made vows to you, as far as I know you didn't stand in a church with this woman and promise anything to each other. Your problem is with him, not her.
Why do you want to call her? Your husband is the one cheating on you and the one that needs to be told to stay away.
Talk to her in person. I really really think you should speak with her. Talk to her without your husband knowing until afterword.


I'm really sorry to hear this :\ i can't even imagine..
No, do not contact her. There is not enough evidence here to even prove that he has cheated on you with her. It will make you really bad.
Divorce and don't look back
lady, just move on
hell yes!!! i would buy a pgs-10 and shoot them both like melons
hi sweetie, you know i have to say this but he did the right thing by breaking it off with you, if he wasnt any kind of man he would stay with you and see her too. if you want answers as to how long this has been going on then yes confront her but in a good way..u have to play nice or you wont get answers at all..take it from a girl who has been there. he has already stated that he has an attraction towards her so that should be enough for you to move on. why would u want to stay wit him knowin he doesnt love you and he is attracted to another woman? confronting her in the worst way will not get him back it will make u look bad. for now completely let him go. be the nice woman and say you understand things havent been the best. he will be shocked by your reaction because he is probably expecting you to get him back..do the opposite and act like u dont care. get dressed up and start dating like asap..now if you want him back i have secret tactics that worked for me on getting my man back...
Let her keep him- he will get off more knowing you want him-


pack all his crap up, put it on the porch and tell him if he doesn't pick it up Big brothers %26amp; Sisters truck is rolling through to do it for him- and it's a charitable contribution...and that's as charitable as you plan to be-


My take on partners checking out on the partners expense is this- if they don't want to be there don't let em smell your air- it hurts but think about it, your husbands depression can't be to bad if he is diddlin somewhere else-





now go take real good care of yourself-


don't worry about her, he will do it to her eventually, i promise
Like many women whose husbands have moved on, you are focussing your energies in the wrong direction. You are fooling yourself into thinking that your marriage can be saved when clearly, your husband is not interested in saving it. You are fooling yourself into thinking that a few words to his new girlfriend will end the relationship he has with her. I know this is not what you want to hear, but you need to start dealing with the situation that is actually happening rather than the one you would like to see happening. Stop wasting your time trying to find ways to fix something that is irrevocably broken. Get a lawyer and get started on the divorce. The longer you live in the past, the longer you are standing in your own way of finding someone who actually wants to share his life with you.
First of all however much you may hate this woman, it isn't her fault, she's a homewrecking slut but for the most part the blame is all on him. Now if you have children with him, you bring hell upon that man, but if not, let him go why do you want someone who says he doesn't love you anymore. It's hard because he's your husband and you love him, but how much more is it gonna make him want you if you beg him, no man likes that. Let him think you don't give a sh**t and see what he thinks then.
Well, what would I do if I were in your shoes??????? Yes I would be very very tempted to call the other woman. I would not expect honesty from her if I did call her. I would expect possibly a very cold reception and maybe some yelling and accusations........possibly a ';How dare you insinuate'; type response.





I would have a tough time picking up the phone and commencing a conversation with this woman.





I would call her and simply say that your husband has spoken of her as a friend and a work collegue. I would tell her that you are very worried about your husband and don't know where to begin to help him with his depression. I would also be saying to her.....seeing as you are considered such a good friend and he talks to you outside of work and has been for the past couple of weeks (don't tell her you got this information from scouting the phone bill......let her think that your husband has opened up and told you all these things).......ask her to help you help him by getting him to come back home to you, the woman that loves him with her heart and soul.





Drive the point home that you are very much in love with your husband and only concerned for his general well being and will do anything to help him and your marriage remain in tact. This will give her an attack of conscious.....or it would most people depending on what your husband has been telling this woman.





You would not know what he has been saying during all these conversations with her. Most women will not enter or even entertain a relationship with a married man unless they are positive that the relationship with his wife is completley over.





Most women won't even think about it.....they feel sorry for the sob story that the male is telling them and if they know the male (in your case this woman works with your husband) then the male has a history with the woman he is trying to woo and has better success in getting the other woman to feel sorry for him and taking the work relationship to another level.





My instinct, from what you have written here, screams affair with this woman. I would not be blaming her at this point as she would have gained her knowledge of his state of mind and the state of your marriage from somewhere..........and the somewhere could have only come from your husband.





If you are going to call her, play it cool. Play it as the concerned wife trying to help her husband.





You know the old saying......You catch more flies with honey than you do vinegar. Keep it friendly when you speak with her on the phone.





Your husband is not going to tell you the truth at this point as he probably feels that he can continue to cover up whatever has been going on with this woman.





The next thing for you to possibly try is this: Write your husband a very heartfelt letter holding none of your feelings back for him. Let him know how very much you love him and where you see the rest of your life with him heading. Let him know how dedicated you are to him and your marriage....etc........





Hand write the letter. Post it to his work address. He will read it. Give him time to digest the contents of the letter as well. A hand written letter says so much more than something you might type up on the computer. A hand written letter shows thought, care, consideration and even love in every stroke of the pen.





I wish you all the very best. Now go out and fight for your marriage and don't let it slip away without trying these few things.





If he comes home and your marriage continues and gains strenght then you have the man you married all over again.





If he doesn't want this to happen....no amount of letters, words, expressions of love are going to change the outcome.





I do wish you all the very very best and hope that this works out for you.





Good Luck with everything.
I think you should confront your husband. It really wouldn't make a difference if you confront her if he's fallen out of love with you. I'm not trying to be mean, but just speaking from past experience. Being that he is married and cheating really sucks. Does the other woman know that he is married? And more than likely if he just told you he wasn't in love with you because he met someone else, whatever it is with the two of them wont last. And he can't fall out of love in a couple of weeks. But good luck!
I know how difficult this is with her phone number sitting in front of you and everything, but I wouldn't confront her because it probably will only serve to make you look bad and make her look better to him. A better solution would be to get both of you into therapy pronto. Start seeing his therapist on your own if he already has one.


She may very well be just a friend, I made several when I got divorced and it was a blessing to have someone to lean on. My ex and I didn't go through therapy and I wish we had, at the very least it would have given us tools to make ending it easier.
There is no need to confront her she has nothing to do with you and your husbands relationship. I don't understand why you even want to confront the woman when its up to your husband whether he is going to see her or not. Even if you did confront her, it wouldn't help because obviously you husband doesn't care about the marriage anymore and he is going to do what he wants. So my answer would be to ask him if he wants the marriage to work or just let it go because there is nothing you can really do. Hope that helps!!!





P.S Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you?
NO, you shouldn't contact her at all! You are not married to her, you are married to him! She didn't make vows with you, he did! You didn't do anything wrong. The ball is in his court. I would pack up ALL his stuff and make arrangements for him to come pick it up. I would make it clear to him that he doesn't get to ';take a break'; to have an affair. Marriage doesn't work like that. If my husband was to tell me that he didn't love me anymore, I would make him own it. But, leave her alone. She can't do anything to and/or with your husband that he doesn't allow to happen.
Hey





Ok Im pretty sure that you must have seen signs in your husbands behavior before he gave you the news (maybe one sign was him staying at his so called parents house and your married). However rather you chose to accept those signs or not thats on you. Seems as if your husband has his mind made up about what he wants to do. There is nothing wrong with wanting to talk things over with him, but he is a grown man and if with you is not where he wants to be he will not be there. Do not call the bi%%h And she is only a bi%%h if she knows he has a wife. Anyway dont call her your issue is with that man not her. It is up to that man to leave her alone. You married him not her.





Let me know how it goes.............
I'm sorry this is happening to you, I went through something very similar to this just last year and it nearly destroyed me.





No do not contact her, you are only going to make the situation worse. I know this from experience. If you love him, truely love him, then let him go. I know it's easier said then done but if i could do it then you can too. I love my husband, I still love him deeply even after all the hurt he's given me, I love him despite all the wrong i felt he did to me, and in the end i felt in my heart that if i made him stay with me by using our kids, I was being selfish. He wasn't happy with me and i want him to be happy, which meant i had to let him go.





If you truely want to do something about it, just hint to your husband that why would he want to be with this woman who doesn't have any qualms about being with a married man. Mention what kind of woman would she be if she was able to do this, and if she did do this, what makes him think that once she got him and the challenge is done, she wont move on to another challenge. do you get what im saying??





Once again im sorry for what you are going through. I know you love your husband and i know this must hurt beyond anything you have ever felt. All i can say is be patient, be strong, and don't change who you are because of this situation. What i mean by that is, don't become an ugly person because of the hurt you are feeling, embrace the hurt let it ride out.. in time things will be as they were meant to be.