How do I convince my husband our daughter needs her own bedroom my stepdaughter only visits 60 days of the yr?

My husband and i have a 18month old and are expecting our 2nd child in sept, my husband has a 10 year old daughter from a previous relationship who flies up every 5 weeks for the weekend and for half of every school holidays.We only have a 3 bedroom house so my step daughter is going to have to share a room with my 18month old until we move to a bigger house, which we aren't planning for a few years yet. Being an older sister myself I know what little brothers and sisters are like, they get into your stuff and things get broken. I want her to have her special things but planned on putting her things away while she isn't here and bring them out when she visits, a compromise until she can have her own room again. It is a small room and planned on having our( by then 2 year old) daughter on a mattress on the floor while she's up. My husbands plans however is to cram in another bed and keep the room like it is for my stepdaughter so she doesn't lose her room. I feel that she has her own special room with her mother, one that is her own and that my daughter should feel that this is her room for the duration that her half sister isn't visiting, which is over 300 days of the year. I think its important to have a space that is yours, and equally so for my step daughter, I have always made her a space that feels like its her own, now it feels like its come back to bite me for my child's sacrifice. my husband thinks our little one is too little to care but it matters to me, am i over re-acting? What should I do?How do I convince my husband our daughter needs her own bedroom my stepdaughter only visits 60 days of the yr?
I think it is important not to make his daughter feel like an outsider in her fathers home.





You child is just as much his and this child is, do not treat them differently.How do I convince my husband our daughter needs her own bedroom my stepdaughter only visits 60 days of the yr?
Get a bunk bed. Then your 2 year old has her own room, then the 10 year old step kid has her own bed already there, nothing changes.
Your husband is right, a 18-24 month old won't care where you put her... a ten year old will.
No ten year old wants to bunk with a two year old. It is more age appropriate to have the two youngest ones in the same room till you get a bigger house. Loosing her room will be a big blow to the ten year old no matter how many days a year it is.
I would ask the step daughter to help you decorate the room for both kids. Explain that little kids are curious and get into things, so rather than having each kid get one side of the room to decorate their way, she gets the top and the younger child gets the bottom. Get the older child involved in choosing decorations that fit into a theme that both of them can enjoy, whether it's a color scheme or a character that they both happen to like. Then it feels like both kid's belong in the room. Get a toybox for each child and explain to your step daughter that when she isn't there anything she doesn't want the toddler to play with should be put into it so it can be put up for safe keeping. Personal items like jewelry boxes and photos can stay in the room on shelves or up high out of reach.





As far as the bed situation, I agree with the idea of either getting a loft bed for the ten year old, or possibly getting your hubby to build a Murphy bed that can be stored upright when she isn't there. if your toddler is in a big bed you can even get a simple trundle bed that comes out when your step daughter visits and it can be a special treat for your toddler to sleep on the trundle when sis is there.





Even though she has her own room at home she does need to be able to feel like she has a space in your home where she belongs, rather than you just making room for her when she visits like you would for any other guest.

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