Wednesday, August 18, 2010

I'm mad at myself for allowing my husband to pressure me into taking plan b... how do I live with it now?

We've been married 2 yrs and have a 1 yr old together and he has a 4 yr old from a previous marriage that he doesn't have custody of. We live 400 miles away and make monthy visits. Anyway, I have not been on birth control because I hate how it effects me, so we agreed to just let nature take it's course. So we just happened to have intercourse on my most fertile days and oddly enough, I ovulated 5 hrs later (felt the pinch that some women feel. its very distinctive). And my husband chickened out. He said that he wanted to wait until our 13 month old was at least 2 or 3 before conceiving another. And wanted to get either another or different vehicle. And he made me feel like I had no other option. Like I had to obey him. I know it's silly, but I didn't want him to resent me for it, but now I resent him. We are financially stable. It would be stressful, but we could manage another child. And I had an unofficial miscarriage last time. (I was more than 2 weeks late and had 3 days of severely heavy bleeding) and I didn't get the courage to tell him until this came up and I tried to tell him we could do it, and he finally said we could wait if ';I'; wanted, but he would rather not. And was being all nice. Did dishes, woke up with the baby the next morning, fixed me breakfast, changed her diaper without me asking, rubbed my feet, etc. So I just caved... and swallowed the stupid pill. And now I just can't get over it. So I'm definitely getting on a semi-permanent birth control, and we're probably not going to have another child. I'm so hurt. What should I do?


He just doesn't understand how I feel. I've wanted another baby with all my heart's desire the past 4 months...I'm mad at myself for allowing my husband to pressure me into taking plan b... how do I live with it now?
as i see it there are 3 ways to end a marriage. 1 cheating 2 money ( either you have it or don't ) and 3 children. you need to have a real heart to heart with your husband to find out just where he stands on this subject.if he's making up excusses now there will be better ones later on.you don't want to ';trick' him into having another child so you have some choices to make. remember the pill is not perm. so if you take it now and decide later that you both want more children you can reverse it. good luckI'm mad at myself for allowing my husband to pressure me into taking plan b... how do I live with it now?
You purposely disregarded the birth control option and said let nature take its course and then he decided not too. Obviously he has too much to handle with kids right now. Tell him how you truly feel and that you want a child and see what he says you may be financially ready but he may not be emotionally ready for another child and might just feel overwhelmed with the two he already has. The fact that he has no custody of his other child and also has a child with you may be too much for him. He might be hoping the custody issue will change in the future and won't have to make the long trip with two babies.
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