My husband wants me to quit my job and is trying to kill himself if I don't?

I have to go out of state (i live in CA) for work for 1 month. And my husband is really depressed and does not want me to go. I had discussions twice with my boss regarding not going and he said that I already gave my word and committed to it and so he didnt agree %26amp; rejected my request. Initially when I said 'yes' to my company everything was fine with my husband and he was ok with it but later on he changed his mind. As the date to leave is coming closer he is getting more depressed and depressed. Last week he took lots of sleeping pills to kill himself but by God's grace nothing happened and he is safe and alive.. It shocked me and also made me feel guilty as to the mistake i committed by agreeing and giving my word to my company. I had no idea he would be depressed since he was completely fine and ok with it when I asked before committing to my company.





I am not trying to say that my career is everything compared to my husband but if i quit my job we would have a lot of trouble managing things financially. Just his salary is not enough for us and all his salary every month gets over and we cannot save anything. But with both our salaries, we contribute, can have a decent life and also put some in savings. We have faced these problems earlier when i didn't have a job and would face it again and just like earlier there would be fights between us again cos of financial troubles and that's why i have a strong feeling that I should re-consider and not quit. I know he will miss me and i will miss him a lot. Today he got completely drunk out of sadness and was running around wearing nothing. I have finally decided to quit my job after facing today's embarrassing situation but somewhere my heart is bleeding. We have to save money, buy a house, have a baby in the future, a lot of these things have already gotten delayed cos of me not having a job on time, and now that i have got a job and 9 months of work exp if i quit my job now i don't know how long it would take for me to find another job. If I complete just 3 more months I complete 1 yr. and then I will be eligible to take up a course in my field and will eventually get a higher paying job. if i quit now then i wont complete my 1 yr. and then everything will be delayed again. What should i do in this situation??





(My Manager will not agree to fulfill my request of not going so thats not possible + I would also end up having a bad reputation if I forcefully tell them to not send me now at the last moment)My husband wants me to quit my job and is trying to kill himself if I don't?
Go to work, your husband is a selfish pig, he seems to be seeking attention, if he is really depressed then he must see a doctorMy husband wants me to quit my job and is trying to kill himself if I don't?
In this economy it's much easier to find a new husband than find a new job. Keep your job, complete the move and let your husband kill himself. Problem solved.
Okay, you asked this question, so you must have been prepared for harsh answers. And here's mine. The entire time I was reading through this, I was thinking 'Wow, I hope this question is a joke' because seriously? Your husband sounds like a selfish child. What is he so worried about when you leave for a month? That you will cheat? Hello there's where trust and maturity comes into play. And second, do you think you are the only couple to be seperated for a while? I'd hate to see how he would react if you two were living where I'm from. There is a shortage of jobs in my province (in Canada) so most of the husbands have to leave for 6 months and go to a province that 3,000+ miles away from home. They don't get breaks, or time off, or weekends off. Instead, after six months, they get one month home then go back for six months. My parents are doing this right now, and they are fine! They aren't blubbering and taking pills to overdose or drinking and acting like a child. It's ONE month, and it's for a good cause. It's for your job. How can you two expect to ever get what you want when your husband sits in a corner and cries while you leave for a month? I'm sorry this is so harsh, but it is the truth. Part of me thinks this is a joke, because I can't see how anyone could react that way to being seperated for a month. My husband is from America and we got seperated for months at a time before he got his permanent residence. Everyone goes through it. It's life.





On a softer note, I know he will miss you. But he has to get over that. It's selfish to make you quit your job and to react suicidal. Perhaps he has a deeper issue and should go talk to someone.
Your husband is not well emotionally, and I think you get that. I believe it is the best interest of you both that you continue you...go on the trip at your employer's request. Your husband needs help as it sounds like he is clinically depressed...one of the worse things you can do, is to enable him however - you need to be compassionate but firm and while you're gone, have a couple of people check on his welfare and call him nightly. What bothers me, is that he is laying his issues ON YOU instead of dealing with them...sounds immature and selfish and definitely, very troubled. When you return, if not before, tell him you insist he see a therapist, maybe he needs an anti-depressant? -Or just a 3rd objective party to talk to.





You can't let him hold you emotionally ';hostage'; in a very real sense - and that is why you need to pursue help for him AND go on this trip.





Sincerely,





Grace
Your husband is displaying selfish, controlling behavior. He should realize as well as you the futility of quitting any job in this economy. Since he doesn't, and chooses to not face reality, he is mentally ill. Did he not get psychiatric help after his attention-seeking episode? He needs counseling. Make him tell you specifically why he changed his mind about you going. Something is bothering him that he is not telling you.





Do not quit your job! One month is nothing; my husband was on a deployment for a year and was away for training for four months prior. You will still be able to communicate every day. Promise him that you will do so.





Enlist the help of his family to keep an eye on him while you are gone. Can you confide in them what he is doing and get them to help him see the light?





How long have you been married, and what are your age ranges, if it's our business? More detailed answers could be given if you want.
Your husband is not only not being reasonable, he is blackmailing you emotionally, to get you to do what he wants. He is selfish and immature, and possibly mentally unbalanced. I would put off having a baby with him. Maybe forever.





I hate to tell you this, but you might save yourself a lot of heartache by divorcing him and letting the chips fall where they may as far as he is concerned. When a man threatens suicide over something like this, he needs to get himself some help. That is on him, not on you. If you give in and quit your job, everytime you want to do something that he does not like, you will relive this nightmare.





You Manager is a ****, too, BTW. Good luck.