How can I get my husband to realize how much time he spends handling his mother's daily affairs?

Let me continue by saying my mother in law is a wonderful lady. We have no problems in fact I have been the one to spend time talking with her when she visits. She lives about 8 miles from us. She is up in age now and I have told my husband that someone should be with her at all times. Sure enough she overdosed herself recently and went into a diabetic comma briefly; thank goodness she was with a friend at the time or could have died. She has early on set of dementia and she is functional but crazy and she can't remember what she said 10 minutes prior in a conversation. Now, here's my question, how can I get my husband to realize how much time he spends handling all her business. I realize she needs help, but it seems like it's constant. She has rental property my husband takes care, managing, putting up signs, we just recently moved his mother from upstairs in the home to downstairs. My husband handle ALL her financial affairs and big decisions, any real estate negotiations she is involved in....it's just takes SO much of his time and our own family suffers for it. We have 5 kids all together. We have a 3 yr old that needs his dad and so do I. Even though we own our own businesses and he works from home, he spends most of his time working in front of his computer with us just waiting to spend ';some'; time with him. Since she has been out of the hospital he's spent at least 3 back to back full Saturdays working at her house. She HAS the money to hire people to help her move and do handy work for her, but she is too frugal. She thinks it something her son's should do and so do they. He tries to make me out to be a monster and awful person because I ask him to keep up with the time he spends helping his mom when his own family needs his time. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind him helping from time to time, but it's out of control, when they clearly could just hire someone. Meanwhile, we are in huge financial debt so when he is home he feels the need to always work, which is understandable, but you have to have balance in your life. I wonder if the biblical implication of ';leave and cleave'; is applicable here? I don't want to come off as selfish, but I do want what little time my husband has to be spent with our own family that needs him. I forgot to mention I am in the middle of starting a new career and ALL this happened in the midst of me going to real estate school, which is like a mini crash course in law. I feel overwhelmed trying to meet everyone鈥檚 needs. What are my options and do I have a right to be upset?How can I get my husband to realize how much time he spends handling his mother's daily affairs?
Sounds like he is tending to his future..from what ur saying about the condition of your MIL, she may not be with us too much longer (sorry to be frank but it sounds true from what you said here). I'm assuming when that happens that will be HIS Houses and Rental Properties? Maybe he is just getting things ready. Perhaps you could designate a time where it is absolutely family time and nothing else.How can I get my husband to realize how much time he spends handling his mother's daily affairs?
You guys need to compromise. Right know your hubby is watching his mom get old and trying to help her. He feels like you and your family aren't going anywhere and he will have you for a long time...much longer than his mom may be around. If you are pushing his back up against the wall to make him feel like you want him to choose of course he is going to resent you. Explain to him that you and your children miss him and want to spend time with him too. Let him know you understand his mothers condition and you would appreciate it if once and a while he could hire someone to tend to the property so you guys could spend time together.





Honestly its sound like your husband is being frugal not to appease his mother but because the more he saves means the more he has to inherit and probably bail you guys out of financial straights. Not that he is sitting around waiting for his mom to die, but he is probably trying to keep things in order. Be a little more patience. What if he did stop doing all these things for his mom at your request and shortly after she died. He would blame you and hold a grudge for the lost time.
It depends what you would do if it was your Mum. I know if my Dad was still alive I would be doing it all for him.